Saturday, August 14, 2010

the purpose of this blog

as usuall I've been doing a lot of thinking in my spare time and one of the things that came up is why I've been incorperating things like twitter and forumspring into my blog (by the way it's still here if you have anything you want to ask me it's so empty right now) afterall I first started this blog purely as a form of emotinal release and self expression. while I originally joined twitter just to follow some web celebration I didn't have any reason to update it let alone impede it in my blog and I didn't have any reason to sign up with forumspring at all. believe it or not despite the fact that these were my own actions it took me a while to figure out why I was doing it and I think I figured out why.

The primary purpose of this blog is still self expression and emotional release (and because of that I'll probably be more ego centric here than I am in other places) but I remember when I was first coming to terms with my own gender identity and realizing the concept that some one could truly be born in the wrong body the only sites I was able to find were either based on the sexual fetishes of TG or it was the idea that my gender issues were just some sexual interest caused it's own problems, due in part to the fact that as I was just discovering this I still considered myself devoutly mormon. and while was a wonderful site full of information there wasn't a lot I could relate to on it on a personal or emotional level, I didn't feel as sure as she was when I was just a child (though it was always an innocent fantasy), I was never obsessed with things that others considered girly. though I may have desired a few they were pretty small and I hid that desire easily) and due in part to the diffrences in how well we fit into our assigned gender roles I spent a lot of time thinking it wasn't me and that once again, it was just some sexual fetish I had to control.  and has the story goes that didn't last all that long before I finally had to come to grips with it.

ok I got a little off topic there but hey this is my blog, in the end the point I was trying to make is that I think on some level I hope this blog might help some one else, some other confused transsexual girl might stumble across this blog someday and find some one she can relate to, and hopefully that fact will help her come to terms with herself more easily and the more of myself is out there, the more likely that becomes. and while I'm probably not the best qualified to answer any questions she may or may not have I know that when your in that situation you often want something more personal or emotional than an expert so I want to make sure I'm as available as I can be.

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