wow been a few weeks

sorry for the absence, but I was in a literature class, has a result it was common for me to spend the entirety of one day reading for my homework and the next day writing,  put more time doing homework in a week with that class then a month in others, but my final was Thursday so unless a job I should be getting soon takes up a similar amount of time I should be moving back to a weekly schedule soon.

came and left suddenly

today I had a bit of an odd experience, while I've been in a mostly lower period of my depression, it's been a fairly mild one overall, but this morning, I seemed to be slipping into a pretty bad one, all the normal thoughts and urges of my worst depression spikes were rearing up, I did my best to try and focus on the book I was trying to finish before the new year, and a few hours later I was starting to normal out to how I've been recently.  I'm not sure how to take the experience, based on my feelings, and the general way it felt it seemed more like a depression spike then when I get sad, but i've never had a depression episode that was so short.

role playing

sorry I haven't' been on much been a bit lower on energy lately (probably stress) and much of my spare energy is spent on making a website for a family member (a paying albeit low paying job).

anyway I've been trying to RP more on the haven, like most forum rp's it can take a while to find one that fits you and that lasts, but I'm hopeful for the one I'm in right now.  As you may recall role playing does often tend to help me out, since it's one of the few times I can freely and fully express my feminine side.  Still I'd like to do it some more, and I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up with multiple forum rp's (though  am available for large chunks of time in the evening) so anyone out there feel up for an email or IM rp, I'm open for suggestions, or we could go with my Isabelle scenario (don't worry the rp will focus on your characters new discovery, Isabelle tends to be a secondary character in her rp's) I also have a few sci-fi settings I can throw out, but I don't have a lot of story ideas for them.

transgender day of remembrance

The 13^th International Transgender Day of Remembrance is being held on November 20^th 2011: Since 1999, the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), on which those trans people who have been victims of homicide are remembered, takes place every November. The TDOR raises public awareness of hate crimes against trans people, provides a space for public mourning and honours the lives of those trans people who might otherwise be forgotten. Started in the USA, the TDOR is now held in many parts of the world. In the past, the TDOR took place in more than 180 cities in more than 20 countries in North America, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania.
Sadly, this year there are 221 trans persons to be added to the list to be remembered, mourned and honoured as an update of the preliminary results of Transgender Europe’s Trans Murder Monitoring project reveals.
You can find a list with names and more detailed data here.

family and depression

I don't know how  to start this so with this awkward segue I think I'll just jump in.  recently I decided to post a comic on my Facebook it's not a comic I made but I felt it offered an important glimpse into what depression is like and I was hoping it could help clear up some of the many misconceptions about it.  (here's the comic for those that want to check it out http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html )

boy did this turn out to be a mistake, most people ignored it to then comment on some power rangers video odd pic that someone felt the need to post very shortly after my post. however those that did read it quickly started asking me invasive questions, told me I need to think positively and remember all the good things I have, ignoring the fact that the comic itself kinda points out that doesn't work and oblivious to the fact that all they're doing for me is adding guilt that almost put me in another bad spell of it. so for me lesson learned, I can't talk about my depression except with very few people who either now enough to not make it worse or at least won't get insulted when I say they're not helping.

I don't want to leave this on a downer so here are a couple of beautiful video's I found recently.

more assisans creed

hey I know it might seem weird talking about assassins creed in three posts in recent memory, but i thought I'd just share this little multilayer trailer for the upcoming game

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/ultimate-templar-assassins-creed/723599

now I know I might be making two much out of this but a few of the lines of dialog has me hopeful that there trying to make the Templar more like the one's in the first game aka, giving them some moral ambiguity, by making their ultimate goals something positive rather then just personal gain like it was in the last two games. 

cross over fan fic

I normally don't indulge in cross over fan fiction, I often think of a scene or two but I give them very little thought (truth be told I'm not much of a fan fic fan in the fist place) but I had a little idea a bit ago I think there are a few interesting dynamics that are worth exploring, and I may try to do this at some point with my own characters in an original setting.

the basic premise is that one of the assassins from assassins creed (I'd prefer altair over etzio but one from the modern age may work best) somehow goes to gotham city and eventually meets batman.  it would probably work best if it started off from batmans point of view and altair's introduction was after batman started examining the death of his targets.  as un batman as it may seem, having batman be unaware of the nature of the assisnation victims until after he'd met altair, not that altair would tell him. this provides some immediate conflict and should give a nice fight/chase scene,  perhaps with some nice dialog at workable points.  after this encounter batman would start digging into the victims and discover what they were really up to and here is were I think most of the story would take place.

I think what I like most about this story is the morals at play, batman may not be the perceived to be as big of a moral paragon as say, superman. but he still lives by a very strict unbending ethical code, most notably not killing people, and while the assassins do kill people, they seem to have a small tinge of regret about it and very strict rules not to kill the innocent (even if players like to violate this rule themselves).  so contrasting the assassins willingness to kill hundreds to improve the lives of millions or billions, would make a great contrast with batmans strict moral code that sometimes ends up in civilians suffering (how many people have suffered because the joker escapes).  you also might be able to explore some interesting possibilities with how much effort batman puts into pursuing the assassin since he only kills these bad people and batman presumably has other criminals and supervillians he could pursue.

unfortunately I'm not too familiar with batmans character (watched the old cartoon show, talk with a lot of people who read his comics but I haven't read them myself) to fully explore batmans reaction to it, one of the major reasons I think I want to do something like this with my own characters, but with my own characters I have the problem of trying to establish how strict the moral codes of both characters are, without bogging down the story.